The Good Fight: Women, Combat Sports, and Stress
Issue No. 5: Stressed Out!
Words - Leanne Pedante
I started training in Muay Thai at The Yard three years ago but it took me months to work up the courage to step inside. I work as a fitness coach and am relatively athletic but I still worried I would make a fool of myself and be too embarrassed to ever return. I worried that I would be spotted as a fraud, as not tough enough, unable to handle whatever laid inside a “real” fight gym.
As it turns out, not only were these worries unfounded, but many of the other women that I’ve met at The Yard shared my fears about stepping into the gym for the first time.
Part of the fear comes from the fact that fight gyms haven’t traditionally been a space for women. While men have been boxing since the 1700s in the United States, the first license for women’s boxing wasn’t issued until the 1970s. The first recorded female MMA (mixed martial arts) fight didn’t occur until 1997. Training in a fight gym also involves a different kind of stakes than forms of exercise like spin class or yoga; the risk of injury and pain is higher when you’re learning to punch, kick, and spar.
Pro fighter Natalie “Lady Killface” Morgan tells me that my gym, The Yard Muay Thai, continues to see an increase in the number of women who are training and fighting. “Five years ago, we probably had five women who trained here. Now, we have close to 40.”
So why are so many women lacing up gloves and gravitating towards fighting sports?
An Immersive, Moving Meditation
Stanya Kahn, 50, is an interdisciplinary artist. She took her first kickboxing class in the middle of a hard divorce. “It helped!” she exclaims. Stanya and her twelve year old son now both train at The Yard Muay Thai.
“Some women in my life meditate, some medicate, some aren't managing the stress well and have a hard time,” says Stanya. “For me, the fully immersive practice of Muay Thai feels like balance.”
When you’re in a ring and sparring or fighting an opponent, you essentially have two choices: you can overthink, hesitate, get distracted and get hit in the face. Or you can focus, relax, surrender to your training, and -hopefully - land some blows instead.
A Second Home
The atmosphere of a fight gym is distinctly different than other fitness spaces. When you walk into The Yard, you’re hit with a symphony of sounds: timers buzzing, weights clanking together, shins kicking heavy bags, curse words, lots of laughing, dogs barking, kids giggling. The impression is that no one is in charge, and everyone belongs there.
Boxing coach Susie Melchor tells me that people train either because it keeps them out of trouble or because it serves as their therapy. She started training 13 years ago and now trains others to fight. “I’ve gone to so many yoga classes,” says Susie. “Those are places that are supposed to feel peaceful and full of good energy and zen. And I’ve never felt comfortable or welcome there. The Yard and other boxing gyms are different. It becomes a second home. For some people, it’s their only home.”
In fight training, the friendships formed between teammates run deep. This is partially due to the fact that sharing an experience of pain, like trading punches or running sprints until you’re ready to puke, creates a bond of trust, camaraderie, and loyalty. It’s also due to the raw, intimate, physical contact required in the sport. Before Muay Thai, the only times I’d felt a stranger’s sweaty face mashed into my sweaty neck involved a mosh pit or a drunken make-out session. Now, it’s just a normal Thursday practice.
“The one-on-one exchange of trust and respect that it takes to spar—to hit another person and be hit—is unique,.” says Stanya. “We’re all going through something hard, together. That feeling of being connected to other people, all different kinds of people, alleviates stress, especially in this increasingly alienating world.”
Studies on the growing levels of stress and isolation suggest that a lack of meaningful, human connection could be to blame. For many women, walking into these team workouts is filling that void.
Building Trust By Taking Hits
“The first few times I got hit hard were scary,” says Stanya. "When you’re getting pummeled and the coach says 'put your chin down, don't back away - keep pressing forward,’ that’s the scariest place to be. But you have to move forward - that’s the strongest place to be.”
There is a feeling of inner toughness that comes with fight training, but not in the way most people think. The power doesn’t come from becoming an aggressor or a bully. The toughness comes when you realize just how much you can take and keep going.
“There are always moments in training where I think ‘oh my god, I’m gonna die!’” Stanya says. “And then I just stop thinking and let my body keep going. This feels like a triumph every time. Part of this practice for me is overcoming certain fears and finding my own strength.”
When we train hard in the gym, when we take hits, when we stand our ground, we get proof of our strength. We get real-time validation of our strength and toughness and ability to adapt.
“When I’m done,” Susie says, “I know that if I got through that training session, I can get through anything.”
