Issue No. 5: Stressed Out!
Words - Anna Biegalski

I’ve been living with an anxiety disorder for 15 years, and I’ve only just begun to realize that I don’t have to suffer through it in silence. I’ve tried many remedies and coping strategies, and one of the most consistent means to help calm the noise in my brain and terrible buzzing nervousness in my body is to go for a walk.

Of course, physical activity has long proved beneficial to mental well-being. It’s simple, but not always easy. Sometimes it’s difficult to even get out the door. On those days, I start small and commit to a few blocks around my neighborhood. Those steps give me a sense of accomplishment, when even just existing feels like too much to bear. 

On most walks, I’ll find myself wandering the city without an agenda, or perhaps with the goal of trying a new coffee shop. I look up at the buildings around me, see the way my neighbors choose to decorate their front door for the season. I notice initials and dates scrawled into cement, present and forever strangers to me. There’s a new restaurant and the sound of dinner conversations floating by. Dogs and their humans trot along. It’s a classic exercise in grounding: reminding myself that the world around me is real, that I belong to it and can interact with it. 

There’s a word for someone who finds joy in this activity: Flaneur. Originating from 19th century French literary tropes, a flaneur is someone who strolls or saunters along, experiencing the urban environment and social landscape. Flaneur referred exclusively to men throughout history, but the feminine form, flaneuse has a more interesting story. Rooted in female transgression, a dive into the world of flaneuserie highlights historical and artistic accounts of women asserting their right to public spaces, especially as they were often erased from collective consciousness in urban studies. 

I remind myself of this when I go for walks. I have a right to not only exist, but to enjoy my city. Even better, doing so actively contributes to the “eyes on the street” theory. My presence, along with others out walking, contributes to an atmosphere of safety and helps create better public spaces. 

It’s a small act, but it feels good to know that there’s something I can do to help myself and my neighborhood. It is mindful meditation, taking in the scenery around me and letting it pass right by.